3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
