writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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