Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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