Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
