Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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