Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
