It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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