I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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