My liver just broke up with me...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
