5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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