I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
