i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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