I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm always down for nudity.
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