We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
