dude i'm inner monologue high
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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