dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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