My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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