I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
