I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
