How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
