okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
