How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Randomize
