I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
