So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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