so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
