I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
