I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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