Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
