I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize