It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize