Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
