she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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