For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
