Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
