i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
