She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
