There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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