He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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