Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
