I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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