Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
