Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
