Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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