she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think your dad took our porno
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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