He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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