So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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