Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
