Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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