ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
