it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
