I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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