i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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