a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
