Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
