i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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