imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
