I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
