Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
