But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i believe in u and ur pee
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
