I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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