id be glad to
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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