good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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