i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
