Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
