spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
