tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
