And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
