dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
