I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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